I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
