why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
