Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I am naked and annoyed.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
