He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
