i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
