I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
