why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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