At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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