get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
How does one acquire holy water?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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