i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
