I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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