he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
