how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
