If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I could fuck to npr.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
