Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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