Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
