Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
