Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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