Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
