I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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