Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
