If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
as a side note pls kill me
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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