I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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