I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
