So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
