I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize