i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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