And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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