I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
