i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
did you just send me my own nude
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
