But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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