I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
