I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
