i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
