Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
