How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
