There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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