Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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