i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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