I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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