Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
