drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Vodka?
Forever.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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