If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
