addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
