new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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