Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
