That's intense
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize