Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you win again, gameday.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
