I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize