it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize