I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
