Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she woke up with a sticky ear
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
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