if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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