in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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