it was like his penis was on wheels.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
