The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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