I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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