Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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