what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I would fuck him just for his dog
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