So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
