All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
