It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
what is it with giant penises always finding me
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
he just fucked me for my cheese.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
