So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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