Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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