No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
