You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
