Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
