I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
