well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my sisters under your porch take her home
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
